Mul like a pieball pony in Kerry!

Mul like a pieball pony in Kerry!
Anyone tell him about Grecian 2000?

Friday, March 11, 2011

Well able for Tasman but not for Hat Trick Hostel

As predicted the night was a wash out...I eventually got to sleep at 1 am when the TV was eventually switched off and someone thumped up the stairs to bed and toe jam. Well then I fell into a coma when I was abruptly wakened at 05.30 by... please note Cork Corpo.. a road sweeper that I thought was gonna join me and the Chinese sneezer in my bedroom! That must have been the wake up call for all in sundry, because it was then the din began in earnest. You try sleeping with a crowd of delinquents stomping and swearing all over the place trying to get ready for their 7 am pick up by some bus to somewhere. Anyhow, you add Hans the German hollering to Helga (obviously his better half) Vhere ist mein shampoo? And she bellows back.... “Zee shampoo is on de bet!” Added to that a continuous flushing of the toilet for over an hour and then the collective stomping down that shaggin stairs and out the door. The building literally was vibrating for about 10 mins after they left.. but a wonderful silence prevaded. I of course did not get back to sleep and then decided to head for the shower and kitchen. There were three in total there.. me, a rude Dutch lesbian who was in a pout with her gf and refused to say hi and finally a very austere Austrian probably in his 70s who thought I was really completely bonkers to be paying more than $20 ( 10 yoyos) for car hire per day. I decided not to tell him the truth of the cost or he would have been put off his museli with hot milk.. Definately a hostel for the delusional.
I got to Able Tasmen National Park for 09.30 and started hiking.. I decided I would try and make it to a place called Anchorage about 3.5 hours away and then come back.. So that would be 7 in total. It was a magnificent day and the place is only incredible. It is a coast track walk that you can leave every so often and go on to golden coloured sanded beaches with trees down to the sand and azure coloured crystal clear waters.
I was about 30 mins into the hike when you will be surprised to hear that I saw a full moon... no not the lunar variety but a wide arsed French girl who decided to drop her kacks and have a waz on the main path for all to see... well me anyway!!! The dope of a boyfriend was on the lookout ahead rather than looking behind so I got full view. It was hilarious.. I cracked a twig, which make her hike up her undies quicker than I would have thought comfortably possible and just carry on walking. Women are marvellous for multi tasking (walk chat and dress in double quick time all at once). I bet her knickers were all bunched up until she got the time and space to un-bunch!. The thing that made me chuckle to myself for more than twenty minutes after was the fact that she was about 2 mins from a proper loo!. The silly cow though had no shame though and we kept passing each other for the day and smiling and saying hi.. She knew that I saw it all but what she does not realise it that I will probably need therapy when I get home!!
 Anyhow, that was the only fly in the ointment so to speak for a wonderful day. Well maybe not.. there was a wasp that inadvertently caught itself under the tongue of my left walking shoes. Every time I moved, he was getting more and more squashed and what would you do if you were him in the circumstances?? Yes the bastard stung me ... just before I mashed him into oblivion. It was bloody sore and I thought this is gonna screw me up when out of the blue, a Florence Nightingale appeared... well two of them in the forms of Bettina and Urs.. a lovely Swiss couple I had met in Hopewell. Bettina had sting salve in her bag and so I plastered the area and got immediate ease. Hopewell gets a higher rating from me based on the calibre of client that were there as well as the fantastic facilities.
I carried on regardless and can I say what a buzz I was getting from the hike. It was fantastic.. I got close to Anchorage in 2 hours twenty when it said that it should take 3.5. I decided to take a detour and carry on regardless to Torrent Bay a further 1 hour 40 away.. Remember readers I have to get back this way as well!! Just before the last turn off to Torrent Bay I saw a sign to Cleopatras Pool. This was adding another km.
Can I tell ya that Cleo knows how to pick them! What an incredible clear pool with a natural slide carved into the rock area for ya to slip slide your way with a splosh into her inviting sparkling waters.. well yes apart from a party of fat loud older Americans who had their own special Kiwi guide as  a lackie setting up a feast of a lunch after the poor beggar had to carry it for miles for them. Added to Ms Frenchies full moon earlier, I had to contend with Mr 200 lb  American trying to discreetly get into his shorts without a towel and of course not hiding himself from the main track...  My second full moon of the day!.. It was enough to put me off my own lunch but I decided to bug them and sit there anyway!
I got to Torrent Bay at 1.30 pm and then had to just turn around and work my way back. Met a lovely Dutch guy called Cor who was also hiking on his own but we kept each other company for a few miles.
 In total and according to guide books I am proud to say that I walked a total of 33km today.... thats just over 20 miles to those still using Imperial measurement. I can honestly say I was on a buzz when I got back at nearly 6 pm hiking continuously since 09.30 and only about 10 mins for lunch. I saw a pizza place and bar just where I parked my car... Nothing for it but to reward myself with a large one and chill and chat to the waitress Catherine from the Cork Road in Waterrrrrforrrrd City.. She was rolling her Rs’ very well. When we started talking, her Kiwi colleague thought we were speaking Irish!
Anyhow a smug well stuffed and well satisfied Der made his way back to a fab hostel called Kanuka Lodge in Marahau, Abel Tasman National Park for a very comfy QUIET room for €22.50..( Lads we are being screwed at home!!) thought she had been banished or forgotten about?? Noooo her Royal Cowness tried to throw a spanner into the works by directing me about 4 km away up another unsealed road but I was too alert and spotted the address myself. Nothing was gonna upset me after this fantastic day......
Well apart from a FULL MOON with the partial eclipse by Uranus!

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